December 2010
2 posts
Sometimes Life Happens
Here I am sitting on my couch watching the Disney Channel. Yeah, I live a really swell life. All my friends and room mates are gone for the holiday and I am here in Nacogdoches working to pay my rent and bills. I don’t have a probelm with being here and working but sometimes it would be nice to do something other than sit and watch TV. I play with Dakota, my dog, but she can get annoying. I...
My Cowboys
I am sure every one watching the Cowboys game last night felt a pain in their heart when Freely kicked the football through those uprights. Well, I am here to tell all you “fans” who are giving up faith or doubt the ability to win, that you should not call yourself a fan. A fan knows the reality of a loss. A fan feels the pain when a catch is missed, or a ball is thrown away. A real...
November 2010
4 posts
Trampled
As much as I have tried to grow a back-bone and tried to keep my employees in check it’s really hard when they are constantly walking all over me.
I am strict and I try my best to be the boss, be the manager, it’s hard when they constantly think I won’t do anything or stick behind my word.
It;s frustrating because I do give this job my all. I work my ass off and do what I can...
Life's Choices
Life is all about choices.
You have to decide if this choice is going to be better than that one and where is it going to take me if I do choose this one?
Sometimes you choose the wrong one and end up hurt and broken. But you know what that choice, that decision, ultimately will lead you to something better.
You are the compass to your life’s journey and you have to decide; you have to...
Just Me
Life can be pretty crazy.
From falling for a really great guy to being completely free and not having to worry about anyone but me, myself and I.
It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. Finally putting myself first.
But I still have that feeling that something is there. I don’t think anything is going to happen right now or maybe a year from now but deep down I have a...
Better Days
For the past two weeks it’s been overwhelming. From coaching and trying to get 5 year-olds to listen to managing a store completely by myself. It can be frustrating at times when I feel my work piling on top of me but I pound through it and get it done. I work literally 24/7. If it’s not school it’s Smoothie King and if it’s not SK it’s something else. I mean I have...
October 2010
16 posts
Picking up the pieces
Sometimes it’s going to take more than faith and more than hope to pull you out of a “funk”. It’s going to take courage (to face the day), strength (to open your eyes) and love (to open your heart again).
You have to be the courage, the strength and the love. You have to know that everything works out in the end and everything really does happen for a reason. Never doubt...
“Everybody’s got a piece of their heart that’s been stepped on and torn apart,...”
– David Archuleta (via quote-book)
Broken
October 22, 2010:
Possibly the worst day I’ve had in a while. I’ve never felt pain like that before and I still don’t know how I am going to recover. I saw Garth at Ihop. No big deal right? Wrong! He was with another girl and I was told they were holding hands. At that point my entire world came crashing down harder than baseball sized hail. My chest hurt, it was hard to...
Can't Escape
So here I am Sitting at the window Starring up toward the night sky Wishing on a star Hoping you’ll come walking through my door
I miss the hugs I miss the warmth of your embrace I miss the feelings I miss you
I can’t remember the last time Someone made me feel The way you make me feel Worth something Beautiful Special Something more than average
I want to tell you how I feel But...
Peace of Mind
You know I don’t know what it is about me and guys. I just can’t seem to get it right. I either fall for the ones who don’t want anything to do with me or push the ones that actually like me away. Where is the balance? When am I going to learn where THAT line is?
I don’t even know what THAT line is. I know it’s there. I know I’ve crossed it many times. I guess...
If..
What a powerful word!
If I could change the world…
If I could have done this…
If I could have done that…
If I could get you to love me…
There are 10000000 if’s in life and sometimes it’s best not to worry about the if’s and just focus on the here and now.
I’ve come to the conclusion that if someone is important to you, they already know...
It’s amazing what time can do. Time can heal an old wound, time can help someone find their way home, time can be a way out but for me time helped me realize what’s real.
Thursday I spent the day trying to fix things with Garth. That meant I didn’t text him or talk to him in any way. It was exceptionally hard because we had spent the past month talking everyday. Yeah, there...
£0¥€
Garth: Yea my mom Is crazy!! She def doesn't act her age
Me: My mommy and I are best friends and she acts my age whenever I go home lol
Garth: Yes my mom and sister are like that too
Me: You're just jealous lol :)
Garth: Pj parties and movies just don't do it for me. Lol
Me: Well then I know not to invite you to a pj party lol
Garth: I like pj parties and sleep overs. Just not with my mom and sis!! :P
Me: Okay well then next time I host a pj party, cause I'm in 6th grade, I'll remember you like them ;)
Garth: Ok I expect to be the first one invited over. And I call dibs on your bed
Me: Okay sounds like a plan!
Garth: Perfect
Garth: I hope you're a good snuggler!!
Me: The best ;)
Garth: Oh yea?!?!
Me: I mean we can test it if you want but I already know I'm the best :)
Garth: Ok one of these days we'll find out if your right ;)
Me: Okay! I'm game!!
Garth: haha me too!!!
Me: Well then I'll let you know when my next sleepover is :)
Garth: okay awesome :)
Best. Day. EVER!!!
“I think I’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad...”
– Charlie Brown (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
Letting Go
It’s all a matter of time before everything that I hold dear to my heart fades away. I push and I push for what I think is best for me, so I don’t get hurt, so I can plan out my life but in the end it ends up hurting me worse than any one person could hurt me. I want to know what’s going on, I want to know what the future holds and who I marry and how many kids I have and all...
Happy Endings
Every girl grows up with watching the Disney Princess movies, or has heard the stories where prince charming rides up on a white horse and takes her away from anything and everything bad. But what happens when that little girl realizes life isn’t really like that? What happens when she never finds her prince charming? OR when she realizes he doesn’t exist.
Everyone wants to find that...
“When we first met, I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I didn’t have the...”
– Nicholas Sparks (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
Mine
I can stare at this keyboard all day long and have a million words swirling around in my head but trying to put them all down is like asking someone afraid of the dark to sit a a dark room. Yes, I can put my thoughts into words but when it comes to you so many emotions come to mind that it’s hard to pick which one to go with.
So I’ll start here:
I don’t know where I stand with...
“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when...”
– Paulo Coelho (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
Risks are worth taking
Deep breath
There are so many feelings running through me that I don’t know where they start and where they end. Right now there are so many emotions swirling within. I want so badly to trust you and to believe that you aren’t going to disappoint me and so far you haven’t; but today when I saw you and started to walk away you pulled me toward you and gave me a hug and when that other girl...
September 2010
3 posts
Every day gets better. Every day is more unpredictable than the last. I can’t believe my stroke of luck. I am constantly wondering what I did to get so lucky. You are everything I have ever dreamed of having. You know exactly what to say to make me smile. You show me how to be more than I can be. Your smile literally takes my breath away and I could gaze into your eyes for days. You make my...
If you know me you know I’m not the type to be dependent on some guy. You know that I am very strong willed and you know that if I can do it.. I’m going to do it and give it everything I’ve got. Well.. it has come to my attention that when I am around Garth my wall shuts down. All my defenses are gone and I’m left out in the open without any type of protection. I’m...
Hooked
I never planned for this to happen. I never could have dreamed someone like you would ever look my way. I never imagined liking you the way I do. And I never thought of someone like you liking me too. You started off as just an acquaintance. Yes, I thought you were extremely good looking but I never thought twice about you. Consumed with feelings for someone else I just thought you were going to...
August 2010
5 posts
“You have to have uncertainties in love to be certain about love…”
– Jordan Van Voorhees
Temptation
It’s crazy how about 9 months ago you meant everything to me and now you are just a distant memory. Put in the back of my mind and never really thought of again. I haven’t seen you in about 9 months and with the start of school coming up, knowing you are going to be in my town, scares me.
It scares me cause I really thought I loved you. It scares me because I don’t want to fall...
The Way You Are
Evevntually every one comes to pass with their past. I haven’t yet but I have a feeling sometime in this next semester I will. I’m ready to face my last head in because you know what… I’m better without them. I met someone who knows me and gets me. Treats me well and knows all my flaws yet still smiles every time I look at him.
You were a mistake. I don’t know what...
Two hearts
Things have been a little weird since the last time I wrote. yes my feelings for Brett are still here and still very strong, but the weird thing is I am seeing more of a front and effort on his side than I have seen in a while. He flirts more and isn’t shying away from his feelings.
Just the way he looks at me I can feel it. I’ve always felt that he liked him it was just getting proof...
July 2010
8 posts
Tonight
It’s crazy the way you make my heart beat five times faster every time I see you.
I love how I can look at you and fall even more in love with your smile.
Knowing there is a barrier that stops us is more painful and heartbreaking than anything I have ever gone through.
I sit here wondering what I can do, looking at the door hoping you will walk through it, and I’m stuck.
I still...
Rags and Riches
I could have all the money in the world, and all the diamonds to go with it but those things can’t make me happy. They can’t make me smile like you do. They can’t make me laugh like you do. I don’t need them. I need you. I don’t want to be the richest person in the world by money or cars or jewelry, I would be the richest person in the world with your smile, your...
How can I make it clear to you that I am head over heels for you? It’s amazing how crazy I am about you. Not the obsessive type of crazy but the I would do anything jut to hold your hand and kiss you type of crazy.
I want to hang out with you at the lake and go fishing with you. I want to be your girl. I want you to look at me and know I will always be there for you.
I can’t explain...
True
When you know you have found that one person who makes your heart skip a beat, or makes you feel like a child inside, do you fight for their heart and hope they fight for yours too? Or do you sit back and let them do all the fighting?
For me, I am a fighter for this one particular boy and since there is no time limit I am going to fight until the end.
It’s truly amazing how something as...
Love
This is for Jenna:
People find love in the most interesting places. On a subway, in a park, in the gym, in a coffee shop, in a tree, basically anywhere. But What Is Love?
Love is not something you can pick up a the grocery store in the canned good aisle. Love is not something you can easily find looking for shoes. Love is not a toy you can play with. So what is it?
Love is a feeling. It is more...
Beyond All Reasonable Doubt
There are so many emotions that run through me when I look at you. I hold back so much everytime I look into your eyes. If I could get up the courage and just grab you by the hand, pull you close to me and kiss you the way I dream, I would.
I don’t know what stops me, I don’t know why, all I know is that my heart wants you. No one else. I don’t want to fall for anyone else. I...
Time
Time is a remarkable thing. It can seem slow and it can seem fast. But time always passes by at the same speed. There are always going to be 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes to an hour and 60 seconds to every minute.
They say it takes time to heal wounds. And time to find true love. Time to get through school And time to heal a broken heart.
No matter how much time passes, I still want to be with...
June 2010
11 posts
Stand
by Jordan Van Voorhees
Here I stand. Starring at you. You don’t see me. You don’t see where I stand. But all it takes is one look my way.
[Chorus] Take my hand. Hold it close to your heart. Kiss my cheek. Ever so sweet. Tell me you love me. And forever I’ll stand with you. Forever I’ll stand with you.
Here I am. Falling in love. Hoping for forever. And taking a chance on...
Take a chance on love
BMS,
Look at me. I am real. I am here. And all I want is one chance. One chance to open your eyes to true passion. One chance to show you genuine emotion. One chance to prove I am worth the risk. If we take away our job, if we forget that we work together and all other obsticles that “stand in our way” the only thing you have left is us.
We are left with passion and a genuine sense...
Hope
Hope keeps me strong through everything. Through every struggle and every wrong decision there I have hope that it will all work out in the end.
I’ve always been told “you can’t do this” or “you can’t do that” and you know what I’m sick of being told what NOT to do. I want to do something for me. I did something for me. I told him how I felt. Not...
True
You know you have found someone special and irreplaceable when you feel an aching gap in your heart when they walk away.
(via brokenmachine, runawaytrain)
“Things with love for you Pisces have not exactly been coming up roses lately,...”
– My love horoscope
Listen
The one person who I cannot seem to get…
For years I have been wondering when it was going to be my turn to love. When was it going to be my turn to fully give my heart to someone and have that given back in return. I searched and I searched… high and low, low and high. Some guys filled the void and some guys melted my heart but no guy has ever made me feel whole… until you.
I...
Courage
It’s a funny thing.. courage. It can come in many forms from liquid to spiritual. But when courage is needed it never fails. It might not come in the bright shiny package that you were looking for… but it’s there, you just have to dig a little deeper.
Courage helps you get past the fear of moving forward. Courage gives you ability to pick up that phone and say what you feel....
“Sometimes it takes more than heart. Sometimes it take courage…”
– Me (Jordan Van Voorhees)
Checkmate
It’s crazy how every sign points to you and I sit back and just hope something is going to happen. The only way anything is going to happen between us is if I do something about it. What has taken me so long to realize this? Throughout my entire body I have not one inch of fear that you would “reject me,” I still hold my tongue and wait for you to make your move.
It’s...
May 2010
6 posts
Falling
When that guy Brad, the one that grabbed your butt, and I were dancing. e pulled me so close to him and at that moment, I pictured what it would be like to be that close to Brett. All of a sudden a closed my eyes and I was dancing with Brett, there was no one else but us on that dance floor.Then that guy clasped my hand with his but in my head Brett was the one who put my hand in his. A tear...