Deep breath
There are so many feelings running through me that I don’t know where they start and where they end. Right now there are so many emotions swirling within. I want so badly to trust you and to believe that you aren’t going to disappoint me and so far you haven’t; but today when I saw you and started to walk away you pulled me toward you and gave me a hug and when that other girl came up and pulled on you, you pulled away and gave me one last hug before you left. Not disappointing but it is disappointing when I ask you to call me and you don’t. I understand you are busy and I understand you can’t always respond right when I text you, but it’s the waiting that kills me.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to fall for someone like you. I can’t get caught up in another one-sided emotional sinkhole. Like I want to hear from you so bad that I can’t think about anything else. You are one amazing guy and I can’t believe things are going the way they are, but I still always expect to be disappointed and I don’t know how to not expect that. That’s all I have ever come to expect and I just want you, with all my heart, to be different…
